we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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