I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
