no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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