I heard we made out
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
