return my video game
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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