Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
