i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
