she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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