Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
