Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
