The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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