Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
