Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
