dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
