I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
did you just send me my own nude
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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