he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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