Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i may or may not be watching the land before time
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
