Will you blow on my dice?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
