just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
