Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need help removing her.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
