I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My first STD was from a foam party
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
