the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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