Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think my vagina is haunted
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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