Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
