WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
