i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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