doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
