dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
