wrigley field is MILF paradise
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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