guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
