I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
