her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
