I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
