The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
