I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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