now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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