Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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