I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
