this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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