i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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