plz talk dirty to me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
