I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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