honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
