I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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