he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
