he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
