was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
