omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
