Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
