My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
