Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
